Losing Confidence

 

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During the month of November, I didn’t get very far with my WIP. I’ve been slowly making my way through Story Genius and I’ve accomplished two things:

  1. I’m more confused about my story now.
  2. I’m losing confidence in my writing ability.

I think I’d save myself a lot of heartache if I’d just stop giving into the temptation of reading how-to books on writing. The more I read, the more I over think the process, and the end result is I write less and pile on a mountain of self-doubt in the process.

Writing is hard and I’m making it even harder in my never-ending quest for the perfect “formula” for writing a novel. I need to build my confidence back up, so I’m stepping away from the novel and Story Genius for a couple of weeks.

We each have our own way of doing things. In the years that I’ve been writing, I have figured out that if I don’t write every single day, it’s really hard for me to get back into it. I am a person who needs to write every day. It’s important that I get back into that habit. I’m setting the novel aside so I can work on some short stories instead. The idea of being able to start something that I know will not take me very long to complete will give me the confidence boost I need, take the overwhelm out of the writing process, and help me get back to writing every day.

The Cure For Crankiness

I’ve had to put writing aside for a while.  I really hate it when that happens.  Life can be kinda sucky at times.  Sometimes we’re forced to do things we don’t really want to do, and in the process the activities we do enjoy fade into the background.

In January, after another round of layoffs at the company I work for, I decided to go back to school. The course I’m enrolled in is for another job in healthcare, a medical records type job like the one I have now.  A job I may not like, but one that pays better.  For almost three months, I’ve done nothing but work and study, study and work.  Burnout is setting in and it’s making me cranky and stressed out.

Over the weekend, I realized that it’s been a really long time since I’ve written anything.  Then I remembered the “estranged sister” story I’d been working on last year.  I hadn’t gotten very far, just some brainstorming and figuring out some of the characters.  I read over all of my notes and feel re-energized about this story.  Blowing off this course and spending all of my spare time writing is a very tempting thought, but writing doesn’t pay the bills…yet.  So instead, I blew off school tonight and worked for two solid hours on my outline, and guess what?  I’m not cranky anymore.

Making time for writing needs to become a priority again. For me, it’s an escape from my troubles and definitely a cure for crankiness.